Cake

2012-01-23T11:33:00.001-08:00

I applied for an internship recently, and I just had a phone “interview”, which ended up being more of me stuttering around words, and forgetting everything that I planned to say, than an interview.

But for some miraculous reason, they still want me to come in on Wednesday ??

/inshallah 5eir.

Salmon

2012-01-15T17:46:00.001-08:00

I lie to parents and tell them that I hate salmon when I secretly love it.

Anytime we have salmon for dinner, I’ll go through this whole act of me being annoyed because I “hate salmon so much”, and me claiming that I’ll just skip the salmon and eat whatever else is prepared (which I actually follow through with sometimes). Other times I’ll get a “small” piece and eat it with a look of “I-don’t-want-to-eat-this-but-it’s-the-only-thing-cooked-so-I-will” plastered on my face, but on the inside I’m dancing and savoring every bite.

Why do I do this.

I want this haircut

2012-01-09T20:03:00.001-08:00

2012-01-06T20:11:00.000-08:00

unhappy with life, myself, and how the future is looking from here.

being good isn't always easy, no matter how hard I tried

2012-01-06T01:07:00.000-08:00

Dusty Springfield - Son of a Preacher Man

I still remember the first time I ever heard this (which was not too long ago, unfortunately.) I just wanted to keep listening to it over and over and over again.

"The song was originally offered to Aretha Franklin (who is a preacher’s daughter), but she turned it down because she thought it was disrespectful. She subsequently changed her mind and did a cover version of it."

omg

2011-11-19T17:13:00.001-08:00

Soooo tempted. :-|

2011-11-18T17:45:00.001-08:00

Got into all the courses that I wanted for next term for. Yay. Was on the waitlist for one (arab499E), but I logged in, and found out that they added 5 more seats for the course, and since I was number 2 on the waitlist I got in. :-)

Only drawback is that I had registered for a history course in place of the course (because I assumed that I wouldn’t get into it) called “Islam in Europe”that I was reallllly looking forward to taking. Plus, the professor for it is supposed to be awesome. Oh wellz. Apparently they offer it every spring, so hopefully I’ll get to take it next year.

Anywhoooooo, I’m taking the following:

Anth360: Method and Theory in Sociocultural Anthropology
Arab499E: Modernity and Chronology of Modern Egypt in Cinema
Anth468I: Langauge As Practice
Arab499D: Introduction to Arabic Linguistics
Arab499C: Sexuality and Gender in Arabic Literature and Film (lol, I’ll be shocked if we don’t end up watching Caramel in this one)

Excited about them all tbh.

Also, pretty sure that I will have no finals for any of these classes (fuck yess), but I know for a fact I’ll have a shit ton of papers to write.. -_-

2011-10-21T18:29:00.000-07:00

Anytime I look out my window, and I see that my stepdad has just pulled up and is about to come in, my mood worsens. Big time. And I always groan involuntarily.

That’s how annoying he has become . Which is why I barely speak a word to him anymore.

Never in a million years imagined that he would become this way. He used to be the fun, laid-back parent that would always crack a joke to make you smile. Would buy us Capri-Sonne’s to take for lunch, even though my mom always insisted that we only were allowed to drink 100% juice. You know?

Now he’s just judgmental, holier than thou, and jaded.

And at this point in my life, I want nothing to do with him about 95% of the time. He complains about so many things in regards to me…even though I’m not much of a problem to anyone, and never have been. He nitpicks. It’s like he is trying to control the person that I am becoming. Sorry, buddy, but I won’t allow that to happen.

Today was so tiring

2011-09-06T15:28:00.000-07:00

But very fulfilling.

I love being back at uni. Love learning about shit.

I’m still upset that I didn’t get into a course that I was wait-listed for all summer though — ‘Theocratic and Secular Discourses in the Arab Renaissance/Nahda’. FUCK.

I wanted this course so badly. It’s being taught by my favorite professor in the department. :/

I even emailed him, begging to be let in. To which he replied:

I appreciate your interest in the course, and I am sure you know how much I would like to have you in my class. Though, I have 18 students already in the course, meaning that I have 3 students over the limited number accepted in that course, in addition to 2 PhD students auditing the course. Thus, it is not possible to have any other student in addition to what I have already.
I wish you all the best

To make matters worse for myself, my dumbass forgot to check-in for the waitlist last Friday, so I got dropped from the queue. :( I was previously in position number one, meaning that if anyone in the course decided to drop it, I would have automatically been accepted into it.

Oh, and did I mention that it’s taught in Arabic?

MY CREYS.

This semester is going to be pretty intense

2011-08-31T17:52:00.001-07:00

In addition to the 5 courses I’m taking, I signed up for an independent study for archaeology, in which I must put in 45 hours in the course of the semester. For one credit hour. It’s a lab study where we will be “washing, rebagging, and cataloguing artifacts recovered from our summer excavations, as well as performing some secondary analyses for the glass and ceramic assemblages”. Sounds interesting, and I mainly decided to sign up for it just to get a feel for this kind of thing because who knows, it may be something I want to pursue in the future. Plus, I can use it towards my major. I’m just trying to figure out how to fit it all into my schedule. This is the part of this coming semester that I’m excited about most, ngl. Though, 45 hours for one friggin’ credit hour is pretty annoying.

post-ramadan gluttony

2011-08-29T15:16:00.000-07:00

now that ramadan is over, I have a few burger joints that i plan to hit up for lunch in the coming month.
namely:

shake shack - had it once in NYC over the spring, and they opened a branch in DC not too long ago!

see that thing on the top? its a fried mushroom stuffed with cheese. yes.

ray’s hell burger - i’ve heard a lot of good things about this place. my friends tried to take me there for a surprise once, but I found out about their plan, and it kinda foiled the surprise (one of my best friends was here on a surprise visit, and I was to be taken there, and she was to randomly pop up behind my back while I was in line or something. cute :-p)

good stuff eatery - this place in particular i’ve been to many times. each time with company that i really like, so I have great memories associated with it. and ‘the good stuff melt’ (munster cheese, cheddar cheese, mushrooms, and caramelized onions. I DIE) is orgasmic.

my good stuff melt. sex.

z-burger - apparently this place gives 5 guys a run for their money, so naturally, i need to try it out and decide if this is indeed true.

MMMMMM. all i can think about is all of the food that i’m going to GORGE on in the coming weeks. i’m so overwhelmed.

ok, i’ll go now.

2011-08-26T20:05:00.000-07:00

I could listen to him forever.

A little background info: This man is one of the most celebrated and respected Qur’an reciters in the Muslim world (he’s the BEST, IMO). He had such a unique way of recitation. His voice, and change of tone throughout recitation had so much emotion in it. It’s rare that I say things like this, but listening to him takes me to a very spiritual place. I find it so beautiful..

This particular video of him was recorded in Pakistan.

I'd really like to have twins if I ever have children

2011-08-11T21:46:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like I either want twins or no children at all. I think. I want my kid to have someone that they can always turn to and connect with. A twin would be like a built in best friend. So many studies have been done on twins who feel like they can communicate with their twin without words, because they know exactly what the other is thinking or feeling, which people believe is mainly because they’ve been together from the womb, and will most likely spend everyday of their lives together until they move out (and even after they move out they may still live together).

Of course there are some situations where twins can end up not being very close to each other, but I think cases like that are rare? It’s something I’ve been planning in my head for a while. My master plan is to marry a guy that has a twin, or has siblings that are twins, or a parent that has a twin, etc, so I can increase my chances of giving birth to a set of twins. Sucks though, because as far as I know, we have no twins in our family.

#selfishness

2011-07-27T17:30:00.000-07:00

2011-07-02T19:26:00.000-07:00

:D My book came.

YAASSSSS!!

It’s about Nicholas Clapp’s journey in search for the ~lost city of Iram a.k.a Ubar. I’ve wanted this book for a while, but always refused to buy it because I effin’ never have time to read anything that isn’t school related during the semester. But it’s summertime now, so I finally decided to get myself a copy. I’m hoping that it’s goooood, and I sure hope that I learn a few things from it.

The first chapter is called “Unicorns” (Oh).

There’s also a chapter called “City of Brass”, which I’m guessing is referring to the story from The One Thousand and One Nights? Maybe there will be comparative look at the two legends/stories?

*SHAKING AND CRYING*

I hope it doesn’t disappoint.

Plumeria--

2011-06-22T17:15:00.000-07:00

These are now common naturalised plants in southern and southeastern Asia. In local folk beliefs they provide shelter to ghosts and demons. The scent of the Plumeria has been associated with a vampire in Malay folklore, the pontianak. They are associated with temples in both Hindu and Buddhist cultures.

In modern Polynesian culture, it can be worn by women to indicate their relationship status - over the right ear if seeking a relationship, and over the left if taken.

Is the national flower of Nicaragua and Laos, where it is known under the local name "Sacuanjoche" (Nicaragua) and "Champa" (Laos).

In Bangladeshi culture most white flowers, and particularly plumeria, are associated with funerals and death.

In the Philippines and Indonesia, Plumeria is often associated with ghosts and graveyard. Plumerias are often planted on cemetery grounds in both countries. Balinese Hindus use the flowers in their temple offerings.

In Sri Lankan tradition, Plumeria is associated with worship. One of the heavenly damsels in the frescoes of the 5th Century rock fortress, Sigiriya, holds a 5-petalled flower in her right hand which is indistinguishable from Plumeria.

Basically, right now, I smell like : A ghost shelter, a vampire, a temple, death, a funeral, a graveyard, worship, and a single lady.

MMMMMMM, yes. My favorite scent. Right after bukhoor.

2011-05-26T22:41:00.001-07:00

NYC Highhh

2011-05-15T17:05:00.000-07:00

Just got back from NYC. It was amazing, etc, etc.

My friend (whom I stayed with and went for [her graduation ceremony was Saturday. Shout-out to her!]), told me that I’ve caught the NYC-bug (and I don’t mean bed-bugs, tyvm). She told me that she could totally see me relocating there because I “acted like a New Yorker”, apparently. Not too sure what that means, but I’ll take it. She wasn’t the only one. Yesterday evening we were sitting in front of some forzen-yogurt shop window, chillin’, and this man was next to us on his phone, texting. We were going back and forth between English + Arabic - because that’s what we do when we talk - when he asked us what language we were speaking. We told him, and then he said that he worked in advertisement and that we gave him a great idea for a commercial (an IRL mad man, basically). He said that the idea was to do a commercial where two people are talking, and each word would be in a different language. SO, if you ever see a commercial as such, just know who inspired it. ;-) (lolz, me funny.)

I did karaoke for the first time at a karaoke bar. In front of a crowd. To “Overprotected”, by Britney (the theme song to my life, hello). The whole ordeal was pretty symbolic to moi. Me, singing Overprotected, to a crowd, for the first time, in the big apple. I mean.

We also went to see Avenue Q on Off-Off Broadway. I had no idea what it was about before I went, but I loved it.

It was like one big coming-of-age trip for so many reasons, which all can’t be mentioned here.

And yeah, maybe this NYC-bug thing is only temporary. Perhaps it’ll wear off by next week

(most likely), but for now I’m just enjoying the high.

OBLIGATORY:

Honestly thought I was about to be framed?

2011-05-09T17:17:00.000-07:00

YOOOO. I was just waiting for my bus at the station, okay? When this random guy suddenly comes into the bus shelter, and drops this big fucking black backpack, and literally WALKS OFF. I was on my phone ~*~txtin~*~ and I looked up and saw him making his way to the otherside of the street, and beyond that, through the little park, and he just kept getting further and further away.

I freaked out.

I mean, wouldn’t you? I thought, “Hmmmm. I’m Muslim. There is an unattended bag next to me. The owner of the bag just walked away. Oh HELL, no. Am I about to be framed for something? What if people get hurt? OMG NO.” In that exact order.

My thoughts were racing. So I went as fast as I could, and got metro security, walked with her back to the bus stop, and you know what? The fucker is sitting there drinking fucking Arizona Ice Tea. Apparently he was thristy, so he walked and got a drink?

BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR BACKPACK, UNATTENDED, NEXT TO THE ONLY MUSLIM GIRL AROUND?

So that's my story of the day.

Good-bye.

so now what

2011-05-02T17:53:00.000-07:00

Imagine there was no war in Afghanistan, Iraq? Just imagine none of it had happened? How different would the world be today?

I have often pondered this.

I don't know, second post in a row in which I attempt to describe my mixed feeling.

I've heard reactions of all sorts since last night's news. From patriotic reactions, to sad reactions. And I guess I can see where both are coming from.

I mean, here is the man...or more accurately the symbolic leader of a movement that has basically changed everything for the worse in the past decade. Especially for people like me (special shout out to all my muslims and arabs). It has gotten to the point that we expect discrimination, and stereotyping. We expect ignorance. When bad shit happens, our first thoughts are always "Please don't be a Muslim and/or Arab." I've experienced so much hate towards my identity since 9/11 that it really doesn't even affect me anymore. Its one thing to feel passionately angry about attacks on your identity, or passionately support attacks on your identity (helloo self-hate)...but worse of all is when you get the point that you're just fucking indifferent to it all. And I think that is where I am right now. Day in and day out so much inaccurate and fucked up shit is done in said, that I've just basically grown numb to it all. So last night when the news broke...I really didn't have a reaction. I wasn't happy. I wasn't sad. Which makes me feel horrible. I've heard and read about people crying of sadness and happiness upon finding out. Sadness because of all of the lives taken, rights breached, and money wasted in the last decade in the hunt for symbol that has seemed like a mirage for most of it. Happiness because the head of a movement that has caused humanity so much pain, and suffering..is finally gone. I sat there reading their reactions and feelings, and I'm like "Word? Interesting..'cause I felt nothing."

What I don't understand is that both sides of the emotion coin seem to be angry with the other. People are angry at people for celebrating his death, and people are angry at people for being angry at them for celebrating his death.

I tried to think in terms of the whole "20 years from now, you'll remember exactly what you were doing at that moment in time." But even that was forced.

It's very hard for me to put this all into words, so forgive me.

One thing I do love is Greek Mythology.

"the Lernaean Hydra (Hydra) was an ancient nameless serpent-like chthonic water beast (as its name evinces) that possessed many heads— the poets mention more heads than the vase-painters could paint, and for each head cut off it grew two more — and poisonous breath so virulent even her tracks were deadly"

went to see a Paul Gauguin exhibit today

2011-04-28T18:50:00.000-07:00

I have so many mixed feelings about it.

I had to go for an assignment. We could choose any “cultural” event, and I chose the NGA because it tickled my fancy.

Outside the exhibit, right before I walked in, I caught a snippet of what a tour guide was telling a bunch of spectators about Gauguin and the themes of “the Other” throughout his work.

While a lot of the paintings were absolutely breathtaking and beautiful, there was this all too common theme of exoticism throughout the exhibit.

And it was so explicitly there. This one quote was plastered across the wall :

“I am a savage. And the civilized feel it from the outset: because in my work there is nothing which surprises or … am a savage in spite of myself”

Rubbed me the wrong way like whoa. What do you mean by “savage”? And he said this after spending time in Tahiti, apparently, so I can only imagine that he viewed Tahiti and Tahitians as a whole as “savage”.

There were little tidbits of information about him on the walls, and this one tidbit talked about how he would name all of his paintings done in Tahiti, using Tahitian language, and that the majority of the names he gave them were grammatically incorrect because, surprise, surprise, he couldn’t fucking speak Tahitian. Which is an all too common practice of exoticizers (is that a word?). We’ve all seen it before - especially on the internet - people having random words from other languages that they don’t speak, or have any type of significant connection to (usually “eastern” languages) in their about me section or whatever. People who get tattoos of Chinese characters on their arms, back, wherever because they think it looks “kewl”…you catch my drift.

What baffles me is that the dude lived there ffs. Would it have been so hard for him to ask someone how to say certain things, for accuracy, instead of deciding to just fucking invent the grammar on your own? I really don’t get it. But I guess he was painting for a certain audience, and that audience didn’t really care about accuracy and/or didn’t really know much about Tahiti at all, apart from the exoticized images that people like Gauguin presented to them.

There were quite a few paintings of topless Tahitian women…which were beautiful, but when you think about the mindset and inner “place” that they came from, if you will, you definitely experience some cognitive dissonance. You think to yourself: “Should I even be enjoying this…?”

And the fact that it seemed like I was the only other person of color there - aside from the topless women - made all of these feelings and thoughts even more amplified.

/rant

2011-03-21T16:57:00.000-07:00

2011-03-05T22:33:00.001-08:00

Good morning
Look at the valedictorian scared of the future
While I hop in the Delorean
Scared-to-face-the-world complacent career student
Some people graduate, but we still stupid
They tell you read this, eat this, don’t look around
Just peep this, preach us, teach us, Jesus
Okay, look up now, they done stole your streetness
After all of that, you receive this

this week in taqo-isms

2011-02-17T19:06:00.001-08:00

We were talking about a case-study about the Basseri Nomadic tribe of Iran in my anthropology discussion class, and the TA called Muslims "Islams". I judged the fuck out of her. *Sigh* Just when I was starting to like her. (Not to mention a couple of weeks ago she was going in on feminists.)
I had a long and hard reevaluating-my life-session on train ride to classes today, and I was pretty harsh on myself. One of those thought sessions when you start to think: "What am I doing with my life?", "What will my future be?", "Am I doing enough?", "What if I fail?", "What if I'm never good enough for anyone?", etc, etc...
You know what, I'm tired of ultra-religious people (Muslims) bitching about happened in Egypt (And Tunisia - but people are freaking out about Om elDonia more. Probs because Tunisia's government is already very secular.). "This is a conspiracy to get Islam out of their government! Their agenda is Secularist!! The Illuminati are behind this!!! Stepping out against your leader is against Islam!!!!"

Oh, word?! You know what else is against Islam? How about oppression, theft, corruption, murder, and a plethora of other things that the Egyptian government has been engaging in for years. Where were all of you people then? Not saying a goddamn thing about it, that's where. You were seeing, hearing, and saying no evil. While things were getting worse by the day, you stood by and watched. Now that the people who have had to live under oppression and corruption for years are fed up, like "Fuck this shit" and standing up for their rights as fucking human beings, NOW, you have a problem? REALLY? Like seriously. If you weren't saying jack-shit about the injustice, and oppression back then, when they needed voices from the outside to speak up for their humanity, don't say jack-shit now. Case closed

Ugh.

/rant

A professor gave me a dollar for answering a question correctly. We were translating some text and he was just like ok, whoever gets this next line right will get a dollar from me. The rest is history, I guess.

"At last they asked, "Friend, what is its name?" The porter replied, "Don't you know its name? It is the smashing mule." They asked, "What is the meaning of the smashing mule?" He replied, "It is the one who grazes in the basil of the bridges, eats the husked sesame, and gallops in the Inn of Abu Masrur." Hehehehehe.

And with that, I bid you adieu.

Because this desreves a post of its own

2011-02-11T10:47:00.000-08:00

Bged Om El-Donia. :)

What really makes me angry…

2011-01-11T21:05:00.001-08:00

…Is the fact that there is literally NO where here that I can buy Arabic literature. I’ve been writing down the names of books that I want for ages, even though I know that I have no way to actually get them. Ordering them online is useless because they’re all based overseas…so the shipping is just as much as the books - if not more - and I’m a poor college student. I refuse to pay $50 for the shipping of 5 paperback books. Especially when I order fucking textbooks using my Amazon Prime trial, and receive free shipping.

And to add insult to injury, on my recent trip to the UK, I planned to go to Al-Saqi to cure my woes once and for all ( I had a list and everything, man). I fucking get there, and they’re fucking closed. Until the 4th of January…which was the day that I fucking LEFT to come back. WORDS CAN NOT DESCRIBE THE RAGE THAT I EXPERIENCED IN THAT MOMENT OMFGG.

A few friends have brought me back some books from Saudi, but most of the titles that I want are fucking banned there, so that’s another nail in my coffin.

Ahem.

Anyways.

~*~Doubt

2011-01-10T23:42:00.000-08:00

So I just finished watching "Doubt" (three years late, I am aware of this) and I thought that it was a really great movie. It featured scenarios that I'm positive that followers of any religion could relate to on some level or another. One portion of the plot that stuck out to me most was how Sister Aloysius (played by HBIC Meryl Streep) basically lied to Father Flynn to get a desired reaction out of him for the "greater good" of their church's community. It stuck out to me because this is something that I've noticed that a lot of so-called religious people seem to do. They'll flat out lie to you, and have you believe things that are far from the truth, and will justify it by claiming that it was their responsibility to do it for the good of the "ra3iyah".

"In the pursuit of wrong-doing, one steps away from God. Of course, there is a price.."

Probably my favorite quote of the movie. I guess it implies that in Sister Aloysius' pursuit of geting Father Flynn out of parish because of his suspicious behavior, she steps away from God, which leads to her lying in order to maker her case.

Another point I liked about this film is the ambiguity of it all. There is no clear-cut answers for anything. The father never actually confesses to doing anything. The little boy's mother never gives any details about anything that may have suggested that something went on between her son and the Father. We never figure who Father Flynns' "Doubt" sermon is actually about. Then there is the somewhat peculiar behavior of the other alter boy, who at times, seems to know a secret that he'd share if only he were asked.

At the end of the film, Sister Aloysius breaks-down and clutches her crucifix, looks at Sister James, and weeps that she has "doubts" with a look of pure despair on her face. The film ends, and you're left wondering what those doubts are - doubts about her accusations which resulted in the removal of Father Flynn, or doubts which involve the very foundations of her faith and beliefs? DUN, DUN, DUN...

Anyhoodles, I thought I'd include a few of my favorite screen-shots from the movie:

(of course a food shot would be favorite. COME ON NOW.)

Ooooh yeah, Happy New Year.
And Blogoversary. 5 years strong. (Wow. idk how I feel about that tbh.)

2010-12-27T14:07:00.000-08:00

I’m about to cry. I want this so bad. :(

I’m a scarf and hat hoarder. Would be a glove hoarder too but I rarely find a pair of gloves that I like. Which is why I’ve been wearing the pair I have for like 3 winters. They’ve gotten holes, and tears in them and I’ve stitched them up. I feel like I may have to put a patch on the thumb very soon. I plan to keep doing so until I a) lose them (GOD FORBID OMG. #morbid) or b) they literally fall to pieces. and even then i’ll probably try to knit the pieces together.

…

EPIPHANY. I need to learn how to knit myself a pair of gloves.

Oh, oh, oh. Bee tee dubs, this post is being posted from England. Yay. This is the first time this has ever happened in my entire blogging career. So I have officially blogged from Asia, America, and Europe. I like that. (This is my first time actually being in Europe as a tourist btw. I've only had lay overs in airports.)

We cooked tonight. Makaroonah w/ Bashamel (we added mushrooms as well), and Aya's weird chicken recipe. I'll admit, I was apprehensive about it at first, but it was actually good. COLOR ME IMPRESSED. OM NOM NOM it was so good.

What I hate is that there is no warm water here in most houses. And by that I mean, when you go to the sink there are 2 faucets. One is hot and one is cold. So I end up moving my hand back and forth quickly under the both trying to achieve some sort of equilibrium. It's driving me nuts.

I've been in Oxford for the past few days, and it is seriously one of the prettiest cities I've ever been in. The architecture makes me drooooool. I'm heading to London tomorrow, and that's where I'll be spending the rest of my trip. I'm hoping that I can meet up with a certain somebody while I'm there since I wasn't able to see her there my first 2 days there when I first arrived

I want to taste Yorkshire pudding before I leave. (Reading Harry Potter has gotten me obsessed with wanting to try it out, yo. Every year at their beginning of the school year feast they'd have it and I'd always crave it D: Also, Shepherds Pie :$ )

bridges are burnin', baby i'm learnin'

2010-08-19T00:16:00.000-07:00

I was inspired by Inception (who isn't these days..), and I decided that I was going to buy a journal to keep track of my dreams. I read somewhere that in order to lucid dream properly, you have to do certain things in order for the technique to work :-p Keeping a record of your dreams is one of them. So I went to Border's a bought a Moleskine. I feel like a right little twat though, because I've made fun of people who buy Moleskines in a past life. The Hipster crowd loves them. Hipsters annoy me. Therefore, I dislike Moleskines on mere principal. XD So basically I felt like the biggest hypocrite in the world when I handed the cashier my debit card, picked up my purchase, and proceeded to walk out of the store. And I've even more ashamed to admit that I actually like the goddamned journal. A lot. The leather is soft, it has that nice new smell, and the pages seem to have a very dewy-yet-not-moist-quality about them.
WHAT IS MY LIFE.

Yesterday at work, a co-worker who I hadn't seen in about 2 weeks hugged me when she came in, and it made me happy. :) She's my favorite person there hands down even though we don't associate or anything outside of work. But like....we just get each other, if that makes any sense. It's one of those weird relationships, where there isn't really a "relationship" at all, but there is a quiet bond. Yeah...

FINALLY jailbroke my iPhone. Above are 2 different ~themes~ I downloaded after jailbreaking. The Hello Kitty one is so fugly. I don't even know why I have it, honestly.

I was too scared too jailbreak it for a while tbh (Why, I don't know), but now I'm mad at myself for waiting so long to do so! Apparently there was some sort of loophole in the iOS 4 which some computer nerds exploited for this particular jailbreaking program, which means I can never update to a newer version of the OS if I want to keep the jailbreak. As of now, anyways, because of course they'll find another way, to break through the updated security.

This post was brought to you by the dulce de leche ice cream that I'm about to devour (with apple pie, of course) for suhoor.

x

Wanna read something lame?

2010-08-07T21:22:00.000-07:00

I hate it when I'm found out. Or rather, I hate it when my real life friends find out about something that I enjoy online. It just takes the fun out of it for me? And if I do start enjoying it again, it takes a very long time for me to get over the fact that it isn't just something I know about and enjoy alone anymore. Yes, sadly, I'm one of those people. I can't help it. I just feel like whenever someone you know "finds out" about you, you stop being you, as weird as that sounds. You stop writing the things that you really want to say or feel.
Doesn't make much sense for me to be saying this here since a shit ton of my IRL friends know about this blog. However, I know for a fact that hardly any of them read it anymore (come to think about it, i don't think anyone really does anymore).

It funny though, even if you do succeed in creating your own little "online personality" or whatever you want to call it, and you develop a mutual following, those people become somewhat familiar with you, and you become somewhat familiar with them, to the point where you start wanting to stop sharing certain things with them also, and thus the cycle repeats itself. You find yourself wanting to create another ID/persona online...just to speak your heart without repercussions.

-----

I had been dying to get my hands on some Arabic novels for a while, and seeing that I declared myself as an Arabic major at the end of last fall, the urge just grew stronger. I just wanted to read a novel or two before classes start for a bit of "practice" because believe it or not, I've only read like 2 Arabic novels in my entire life (بنات الرياض + تلك الأيام - lol, one was religious, given to me by a deen teacher, the other initially banned in KSA. :-p ). I guess mainly because all of the people that I know that were big on reading were always into English books, and also because reading was more of a hobby for me. Since all of my school classes were in Arabic, I wasn't really interested in reading much in Arabic that wasn't for school. *shrugs*

So anyways, a friend of mine was in ~Riyo De Najd~ for the summer and brought me back like 5 novels. I'm currently reading حب في السعودية and enjoying all its raunchy and controversial goodness.

This post was brought to you by

Amazing skintimate cream shave, which will make my legs feel as smooth as a baby's derriere. Jealous?

I've got all these issues that noooobody can see

2010-07-09T19:50:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by Faith --

What are 6 secrets that no one would notice upon meeting me at the first time?

Ok, so these aren't really "secrets" per se. They're more true to the "no one would notice upon meeting me at the first time" part of the bargain. Because, well, sharing secrets un-anonymously online can never end well. :-p

1) I've never read any of the Jane Austen classics...You know, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Emma, Mansfield Park..etc. It's something I'm quite ashamed of to be honest. Come to think of it, there are tons of classics that I have never touched..*coughsShakespearecoughs*. And considering the fact that I count reading as one my favorite hobbies that's pretty...embarrassing. Idk.

2) I tend to have weird thoughts. For no reason at all. Lol, like if I see someone walking, I'll think to myself "If I ran up to her and pushed her, I wonder what would happen?" or "I wonder what he would do to me if I punched him?", "If I grabbed her sandwich and tossed it to the floor, what would she do?" lolol. I'm curious like that. If I've met you in real life, chances are I've had those kind of thoughts about you. :-)

3) I talk to myself..a lot. Usually it's when I'm looking at myself in the mirror. I enjoy it. (Idk, do others do this? I would imagine that it's quite common..? No...? ok. )

4) I'm probably the most nostalgic person you'll ever meet. I love reminiscing - a bit to much if I'm being honest. To the point where it has become a hindrance to my future. My head is always up in the goddamn clouds. Hmph.

5) I'm full up to the brim in self-doubt. I just don't believe in myself. Which keeps me from trying to do many things, because in my mind, I think I'll just fail. So it's becomes a "What's the point then?" situation for me.

6) I love Geography. So much. I could just sit for hours and read/look at maps. Or Google random cities across the globe, and just read their Wikipedia entries (Most interesting part for me is always the Demographics section). I feel like if I met someone, and they too were into ju'3rafiayah~, and we had absolutely nothing else in common, our friendship would work out and blossom into something amazing. مية مية . Just because of their love for it.

So there you go.

I'm tagging anyone who reads this and wants to do it. :x

Lampyridae

2010-06-11T18:45:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year when fireflies start coming out at dusk. I stepped out of the door to walk a market around the corner from our house to the bobbing little beauties. I had to make a quick run to get some milk because I had a sudden craving for Corn Pops.

You know, fireflies are pretty much the only type of insect that doesn't scare the shit out of me. I think this stems from a childhood experience. There was this family that we were very close to when I was younger. The dad was Yemeni-Sudanese, and the mother (Allah yir7am'ha) was Russian. Not that that matters at all or is really relevant to the post, but I just thought that was an interesting little tidbit. :-p So anyways, we used to visit them a lot. My mom loved their mom, and my dad loved their dad, and their kids and I had some epic adventures (Really, we did.) One day, I'm guessing it was around mid June or early July, we were fooling around in their living room, and I came to notice a firefly softly flitting around lighting up as it seemingly floated~ up and then down, and upon seeing it, I freaked out and ran to the other side of the room. Their mom chuckled and asked me why I was scared. I don't remember my answer, but I probably really didn't have one, so I probably shrugged. The next thing I knew she had captured the firefly with her hands, and beckoned us over to come look at it in her palm. I was about 6 or 7 at the time. Shams, the daughter that was the same age as me and the one that I was closest to, and Eman, the younger sister that always tagged along, and I, all crowded around her hand and watched the little bug crawl around curiously for a few seconds. It then stopped moving for a few seconds, and when it moved again, we learned that it had pooped on her hand. And of course, seeing that we were children, poo-poo and farts are by far the funniest thing in the world at that age. After that incident, I think I came to a realization of just how harmless they were. Ever since, I've anticipated the yearly coming of fireflies.

It's funny how the little things can help you overcome irrational fears.

P.S. I hate the song "Fireflies" with every bone in my body.

A huge part of me hopes they never find this blog...but tiny part of me wishes that they did

2010-05-29T21:53:00.000-07:00

It amazes me sometimes how CLUELESS my parents are when it comes to Muslim youth/growing up as a Muslim in today's society. So. Fucking. Clueless.

I guess I can't fault them (actually I can) because neither of them were raised with Muslim families so there are things that they just don't understand, and it can be so enraging.

Yes, people have boyfriends and girlfriends. In fact, it's very widespread. And no, having a bf/gf does not automatically = SEX.

Yes, we cuss. Some of us like sailors. And you will not take that away from me. You've already played a key role in suppressing other aspects of my personality and I'll be damned if you're going to take away I speak in the company of my peers.

Yes, we check out members of the opposite sex, and sometimes flirt. Doesn't mean that we're ready for or even contemplating the thought of marriage. My mother has this weird, weird, WEIRD, concept. Anytime anyone says something like "Oh, wow, he is hot.." she'll reply with something along the lines of "w0w, if you're having thoughts like that, maybe it's time for you to get married." WHAT THE FLYING FUCK. Some people think "lol, funny", but I assure you it's not - because she is dead serious about it. I honestly can't remember ever even hinting to the idea that I found someone physically attractive in front of her like, ever, in my life, because I just don't feel like dealing with her reaction. Which is sad, in my opinion.

Yes, I have blocked you and the majority of your friends on facebook. And I will never add you.
I can imagine them now-freaking out because I have *gasp* male friends! Oh no, the horror.

It just annoys me how they've basically made themselves into the type of parent that you can share absolutely nothing with..and then they have the audacity to wonder why I pretty much keep to myself in my room whenever I'm @ home? They don't know the real me...and from the looks of it, they never will :)

The world is not a simple place, and you can't go on viewing everyone and everything in such "black and white" terms. Fucking hell.

Ugh. I'm just angry right now. Good night.

WANTED

2010-05-24T23:06:00.000-07:00

Vivienne Westwood for Melissa JELLIES.
Drooling right now to be quite honest. *_*
They're so fairytale-esque.

You know the type, load as a motor bike, but wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight

2010-05-20T19:12:00.000-07:00

(yes, school is out, so I'm "back", for a while, i guess? idk, idk.)

It's funny how you can think that you "like" someone until you find out more about them. Then you realize that you wouldn't work out at all. I have 2 such examples.

Both are from the Geology course that I took this semester.

So the first day I walk into my discussion section, 2 people ~caught my eye. Person 1 is this Bosnian guy who was friggin' gorgeous. I saw him and I literally had to pick my jaw up off of the ground. But that was as good as it got. Everything about him just started going down hill from that day on. It all started while we were in lecture the following week, and our professor was telling us about an activity that we had to do which involved finding articles online, and posting them to a discussion board. And this obnoxious dumb ass raises his hand and goes "Is it OK if we use AL JAZEERA as a source??"

Ok.

Didn't she say online news sources? Is Al Jazeera NOT an online news source? Are you basically being a little attention ho right now? Yes^3.
Those were my first thoughts.
But then I thought, "Hey, maybe I'm being a meanie (per usual). Whatevs, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt." Of course it only got worse.

We're sitting in discussion another day, and we had to bring bring in an aritcle about something, I forgot what. Tell me why this asshole makes a big stink about "I DON'T USE AMERICAN NEWS SOURCES." "MY NEWS ARTICLE IS NOT FROM AN AMERICAN SOURCE." "BLAH BLAH BLAH NOT AMERICANNNNNHH." when no one even asked about where he got his sources from? Lol. It's like dude, shut the fuck up. No one really cares.

Don't get me wrong, I don't trust a lot (if not most) American news myself. But it's the way he went about expressing it that screamed "I'm another dumbass who thinks that I am oh so educated and ~worldly, and different." Not to mention the fact that he'd basically shout out that he was fucking European at every.single. chance. that he got. You know the type.

Guy 2 is not as complicated to explain. Basically, it turned out that he is in......a Christian music type boy band. I'm sorry but LOL.

No.

I can't take anyone that sings in a religious music band serious. Doesn't matter what said religion is, I just find it funny...and a bit lame, to be honest.

Anyways, that's the end of this lame post. :-) I just felt like writing something.
TYFYT to the what, 1 person that still even reads this blog? Hai.

The following was a random train of thought typed into a note on my phone recently. A.K.A a brain fart A.K.A I suq at blogging A.K.A 5 minutes of your

2010-05-03T23:54:00.000-07:00

..life that you'll never get back

Decided my major, advisor still hasn't emailed me back. Croc wedges.
Pagan Student association is having an event, and for some reason I'd
like to go. China Glaze :-) Just discovered terp notes, where have you
been all of my life? Not even going to attempt to read "The Original
Meanings" - way too wordy and dull. This poses a problem though, since
there will be a guaranteed essay Q about it on the final. Oh well. I
never realized how much I love environmental geology. Everyone should
use environmental reusable shopping bags when shopping. Anyone who
doesn't is just selfish tbqh. Solar energy. "Are you there Vodka? It's
me, Chelsea." Egypt? I think ur a contra. Ezra Koenig, HNNNNGGG.
Release the krakken~. TV taught me how to feel, now real life has no appeal.
Qdoba > Chipotle. Believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear.
The hors mori. Flash Delirium sucks; I'm so dissappointed in mgmt. Kamaljit
Jhooti.



I've had this song on my mind all day long btw:

2010-03-17T00:51:00.000-07:00

i just wrote a long ass post, and i poured my heart and soul into it and fucking blogger decided to eat it.

~~i want to cry.~~ i am crying.

here is a song for your time :(

A little entertainment rant

2010-01-31T22:25:00.000-08:00

How the hell did taylor swift beat this? No, seriously. I need to know what the Grammy's board was on when they decided that Taylor Swift deserved album of the year over Gaga. Where is Kanye when you need him? God damn. How are you gonna win album of the year when your ass can't even hold a note?

UGH. #RAGE.

I mean, not gonna lie, I've been known to indulge in a bit of Taylor Swift here and there, but WHAT THE FUCK. I can't take this right now. GAGA IS QUEEN as far as I'm concerned. And the Queen was robbed.

Wake in the morning feeling like...an environmentalist?

2010-01-22T23:57:00.000-08:00

I just watched this documentary called "Home", and I was "touched" to be honest. You can watch for free in HD on YouTube. Of course there are a bunch of people out there that think the whole ~Global Warming~ debacle is a bunch of bull, I don't though. Maybe I'm just really impressionable? IDK. Anyways, it scared the heck out of me. Most, if not all of the problems that were presented and the reasons behind them all seemed reasonable and made total sense to me. Its not like global warming activists are saying anything that most somewhat conscious people haven't thought about before in the back of their minds. There are billions of people in the world..and we consume, and consume, and consume. And pollute, pollute, and pollute. And kill, kill, and kill, VERY rapidly.
You get the picture.
Its only logical that sooner or later all of the consumption, pollution, and killing of natural resources will somehow catch up with us for fucking around. I just hope that when worst of it comes, we don't end up having a situation on our hands like 2012... or something... #imjustsaying.

Anyways, I've been having these tempting thoughts about living in a small un-urbanized pretty much primitive village like situation for a while now, and after watching Home, these feelings have kind of spiraled out of control. Last week I watched this documentary about the lost cities of the Amazon (again, on YouTube) and they focused on a tribe of Amerindians who had a village community in the Amazon. The whole time I was like "OMG. WANNNNT."
Like, seriously, I really had this strong urge to run away from home and try to become an honorary member of their community. Dead serious.

I just feel like I'd be so much happier. Waking up every morning, and washing up in the river. Or getting water from the well, if I lived in a rural village in Mauritania. Grinding grains. A bit of weaving perhaps? Not having to worry about about school, grades, finding a job when I finally graduate. I'd be less stressed out that is for sure. And it wouldn't even be entirely for these reasons that I mentioned. I guess I'm just tired of the dog eat dog, backstabbing, un-fulfilling, materialistic, hypocritical lifestyle that seems to be the norm?
All around I'd probably have more peace of mind, and I'd be physically healthier and what not. SIGH. I'm not going to let my dream die..maybe someday I'll get to experience it.

"So pardon me while I burst into flames. I've had enough of the world and it's people's mindless games."

Another tidbit. My lab partner from like 2 semesters ago just went to Italy for a Winter term. She has an album full of photos of her next to/in all of these places that I learned about in Art History last semester. Did I mention that Art History was a friggin' fun as hell course? And that I enjoyed the hell out of it and all the things we studied in it? Basically, I hate her right now :-)

k, enough crazy for this morning. thxbai.

2010-01-10T22:49:00.000-08:00

that is all.

you make the coffee, i'll make the bed

2010-01-04T19:23:00.000-08:00

big love A.K.A the best show on TV returns for season 4 next sunday.
I'M SO EXCITED, I'M SO EXCITED....I'M SO SCARED.

2010-01-03T21:55:00.000-08:00

Staying close with close friends when they live across oceans and seas is really hard. Even in this age of internet, facebook, Skyping and IMing. If you don't make a conscious effort, you WILL start slipping away from the people that matter sooo much to you. It's just hard sometimes to keep a virtual bond that was once upon a time real life bond. It will never ever feel the same, and you will never fully adjust to virtual means because you will always remember what it felt like when it was real. My friends have always meant the world to me...even though I may not show it sometimes. Heck, sometimes I feel like they matter more to me than I do to them, but it's alright. That's life. It has been almost 3 years (5 for two of them actually) since I last saw any of them in the flesh, and I am scared of what will become of our friendship if I don't see them...very soon..

Yep, moving away still sucks.
I just can't get over it.

[^clickable^]

I got this book a looong time ago, and I read it 8739578 times when I was younger. I even did the little activities inside. It had a bunch of corny shit in it about friendships and whatnot. I guess I took a lot of that corniness to heart, eh? K bye.

one of my many resolutions

2010-01-02T19:34:00.000-08:00

I AM GOING TO LEARN HOW TO SEW THIS YEAR.
watch out.

oh yeah, i have been blogging (on and off) for 4 years now. December concluded the 4th year. I opened my ~first blog in December of 2005. i swear it seems like just yesterday when i discovered the world of blogging. time sure does fly!

I am going to try to be better about updating, and being a more active blogger this year because last year was just SAD.

2009-12-21T21:24:00.000-08:00

I just came back from seeing Avatar. I enjoyed it even though the storyline was cliche as fuck.

Story of the great white savior coming in and becoming one of the indigenous people, and learning how to do everything that they do better than them, and thus saving the day. Oh, and he gets the girl, too. (And yes, the girl just so happened to be the daughter of the tribal leader. ).
Basically it was very predictable, but the beauty of the graphics and whatnot made up for that. Straight up Pocahontas except with 3D aliens. But I love Pocahontas, and I sure as hell love 3D, so its all good.

Also, I know I am not the only one that found the tall and muscular yet toned blue alien kind of hot? Like the whole time I kept thinking "Wow, I could totally see myself bumping tentacles with him.". Yeah...

Anyways, I'm sure that Disney loves this, because I'm so about to go search for somewhere to watch Pocahontas online now. I feel nostalgic.

Random notes from my phone

2009-12-21T14:15:00.000-08:00

-"Idk if I should be flattered or offended when a guy offers me his seat. The Bella Swan in me giggles, and the feminist in me is outraged."

-"Feeling particularly cocky today"

-"El7amdilla 3la everything that I have."

-"Is just a soul whose intentions are good...please don't let me be misunderstood."

-"All you people are vampires, and all your stories are stale. And though you pretend to stand by us, I know you're certain we'll fail."

-"$48.75"

-"Interesting sense of style, ten million dollar smile. Think I can't handle that? Animal in the sack."

"Been so many things when I was someone else. Boxer in my ring trying to defend myself."

"People need to realize that behaving like an obnoxious cunt all the time really isn't cute."

I was looking through my notes the other day, and I realized how much I have missed blogging.
It is to the point that I resorted to typing out phone notes when I felt the urge to express something...anything. Some of which don't even make sense or seem relative to anything at all. I think I am slowly but surely kicking out of my blogger's block igloo. Yay me.

I realize that this makes me a complete and utter geek..

2009-09-24T21:14:00.000-07:00

..but I am in love with Wizard Rock.
There. I said it.

If you're confused as to what Wizard Rock is, let me elaborate.
Wizard Rock is a fandom genre of "rock" music created by Harry Potter fanatics (shocker, I know) using the names of characters and things throughout the series as names for the ~bands. So you get names like "Harry and the Potters", "The Whomping Willows", "The Parsel Tongues", "The Remus Lupin", "Dobby and the House-elves" (lawl), etc. And as you would expect, they strictly sing about characters and events that are in the series.

"Teenage Werewolf" by The Remus Lupin (posted), is about the agonies that Remus Lupin (a.k.a Moony) experienced growing up as a werewolf at Hogwarts, in a society that was not very accepting of his kind - A prejudice against werewolves if you will. Once a month, during the full moon, he was sent away to The Shrieking Shack as a place for him to transform and at the same time not hurt anyone. While he is at Hogwarts, he becomes friends with James, Sirius, and Peter, who come to call themselves The Marauders. They ultimately find out about his werewolf secret and decide to become Animagus -the ability to transform into an animal- (werewolves aren't a danger to other animals), to accompany him during his transformation at The Shrieking Shack to keep him company and be there for him during his ~cycle.

But, I digress.

Point is, aside from the unarguable dorkiness of Wizard Rock, I think it is pretty darn cool.
I guess it just takes me back to a more simple time and happy time in my life, when the only thing that I cared about was when the next Harry Potter book was coming out. And then proceeding to cream myself when it actually did. :)

tell 'em that it's human nature

2009-07-07T00:23:00.000-07:00

-I hate when peoples opinions and misconceptions about something which I know much about, clouds my own judgement. no one should be able to sway your opinion about something that you believe in so easily.

- "wonder if you know you're on my radar.
tryna make ya understand you're on my radar.
hey baby, whether it's now or later..I got 'chuuu.."

-- Taqo

2009-06-20T23:32:00.000-07:00

what are you dying to read?

how to argue

2009-06-01T01:05:00.000-07:00

LOL
Watch it to the end. It's like a fine wine.

Trust.

never thought a facebook quiz would "sum me up" so well

2009-05-29T21:19:00.000-07:00

Taqwa completed the quiz "What kind of mask do you wear?" with the result Pain.

Your mask is pain. For some reason or another you just can't seem to find a positive outlook on life. You get angry when people try to relate with how you feel, because you're convinced they won't understand. Deep down you know there should be a million reasons for people to want to get to know you, but you often find yourself closing yourself off from those around you. You have your select friends, but can't help but want something more. You find opening up difficult, but you do find your ways to let things out. You have your good days, but even through the good times, you feel like there is always going to be those feelings that don't sit right..

I went to see terminator for Christian Bale to be quite honest...

2009-05-27T22:52:00.000-07:00

- Moms has been bugging me forever and ever about getting a pap smear. I've been dodging it for years...but it seems like this summer she is determined to force me to get one.
The reason that I've been dodging it so much is...I'm terrified :/ If you don't know what I'm talking about, I suggest you google it, because I'm definitely not explaining it...*shudders*.
I am like legit scared. Reminds me of some shit aliens do to human abductees in books and movies.

DO NOT WANT :"(

- I hate how I feel that I'm going to have to have kids sooner or later just because I don't know who else I am going to have to take care of me once I get old. I'm extra nice to my nephew and stuff now, so you know, he can remember my kindness~ once we both get old, and maybe that will trigger some emotional response. There is still no guarantee that he will give a shit about how nice I was. As there is no guarantee with your children. But I think you have a better chance with your own kids :/ eye dee kay.

- Amazing stuff. Real talk.

I wanna be like Van Wilder

2009-05-20T20:36:00.000-07:00

Life depresses me.

On the way home, we were listening to something (on CNN, I think) and there were a few college graduates on the show, talking about how hard it is to find a job nowadays and what not. How people are getting degrees in journalism or whatever, and ending up working at staples :|
and that just got me thinking about how materialistic the whole thing is.

I mean, we go to school for four years, graduate, get a 9 - 5, and work for the rest of our lives, just so we can afford to buy a few pair of shoes, a new home theatre, pay a car note, or whatever else is is that we want. It's like people just work to buy things. you put in a good 35 years, then you retire. and by that time you are old as hell.

I don't know, but that whole scenario flashing through my head just made me feel...down.

Well. At least I have another good three years, I would say, before I graduate.
Things are looking bleak.

That's all.
These are my thoughts of the day..

Peace, love, and Miley Cyrus.

YESSSS

2009-05-09T21:08:00.001-07:00

BUT WTF, WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO TURN IN TO A FROG?

I'm on to you, Disney.

I love a good bargin

2009-05-09T12:02:00.000-07:00

I got this for $3 yesterday :] (down from $35)
I'm glad I waited to get an Obama shirt haha.
I have a matching bumper sticker that I got free from moveon.org.

Yeah this is a lame excuse for a post, but I'm doing this from my phone for the first time, and I think it's pretty friggin' cool. COME AT ME.

it was so easy back then

2009-05-05T23:49:00.000-07:00

Hi. (to the probably 2 people that still stop by every once in a while, ha!)

Yeah, I realize that I have been M.I.A. for a while. Just haven't been in a blogging mood - not to mention that my life is and has been just so uninteresting that I have nothing worth writing, IMO.
School. Work.
Work. School.

Yep. That is about it.
Maybe a few movies or some shopping in between, but nothing extraordinary.
I am still my normal unpleasant / life-hating self :)

School is almost out for summer.
I'm stressing over a last minute paper of course. (That is like a ritual with me. Every semester there is some long ass paper that I wait to literally the last minute to finish. Oh well.). I will be possibly seeing a few friends from Saudi this Summer, so I am looking forward to that ;]

The spring weather really sucks donkey dong. Not to mention it's fucking with my allergies like crazy. I stay drugged up all day (else I wouldn't be able to breathe, and I'd feel like scratching my eyes out..).

Anyways, I feel like this post sounds kind of stiff since I haven't done this for so long.

I'm gonna go to bed now, lol.

Bye.

lol

2009-02-22T10:41:00.000-08:00

4 lies, and 1 truth

2009-02-14T21:58:00.000-08:00

1. I have a sibling in prison.

2. I have a public transit driver stalker.

3. I LOVE this, and I don't care what anyone thinks:

4. I write out really long and pretty harsh comments when I read something that pisses me off but never post them. I think it is a psychological thing that I do it just to get it out of my system and cool off. I'd probably have a lot less friends if I posted half of the things that are in my head.

5.This is my great-great-grandmother:

I liked this

2009-02-12T23:43:00.000-08:00

They turn the water off, so I live without water,
they build walls higher, so I live without treetops,
they paint the windows black, so I live without sunshine,
they lock my cage, so I live without going anywhere,
they take each last tear I have, I live without tears,
they take my heart and rip it open, I live without heart,
they take my life and crush it, so I live without a future,
they say I am beastly and fiendish, so I have no friends,
they stop up each hope, so I have no passage out of hell,
they give me pain, so I live with pain,
they give me hate, so I live with my hate,
they have changed me, and I am not the same man,
they give me no shower, so I live with my smell,
they separate me from my brothers, so I live without brothers,
who understands me when I say this is beautiful?
who understands me when I say I have found other freedoms?

-- Jimmy Santiago Baca, Who Understands Me But Me.

powerful.

I can not even begin to describe...

2009-02-05T22:41:00.001-08:00

one of the best things I've ever tasted. omg.
california pizza kitchen's "chipotle chicken pizza".
i want to cry. it was intense.

note: none of these pictures are mine.

Anthropology

2009-01-22T19:00:00.000-08:00

I want to study it.

Feeling very uninspired at the moment, but I liked this ~secret.

2009-01-17T17:49:00.000-08:00

2009-01-15T12:13:00.001-08:00

Silas raised one perfect eyebrow. "Mm? Oh, not at all. Let's see, it's been awhile since I've been down that way. But i don't remember anyone particularly evil. Remember, in days gone by you could be hanged for stealing a shilling. And there are always people who find their lives have become so unsupportable they believe the best thing they could do would be to hasten their transition to another plane of existence."
"They kill themselves, you mean?" said Bod. He was about eight years old, wide-eyed and inquisitive, and he was not stupid.
"Indeed."
"Does it work? Are they happier dead?"
"Sometimes. Mostly, no. It's like the people who believe they'll be happy if they go and live somewhere else, but who learn it doesn't work that way. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you. If you see what I mean."
"Sort of," said Bod.

london calling?

2009-01-06T21:27:00.000-08:00

I guess I am at a place right now where I just don't feel like doing anything other than lounging around the house, going in and out of the fridge never with any intention to actually get any food out, or going up and down the stairs, never actually having a destination in mind.

I still have 19 more days of winter break to go, with little (if anything) to do, and it is getting to me. Anytime I sit around with nothing to do for too long my thoughts start to get the best of me. I start reminiscing of better days, when I actually had a life, and friends that aren't only in my computer, and I get pretty pessimistic and moody about everything.
Will I ever get it together and finally fully get over my move? Probably not.

Last night I made a declaration to my mom. I told her that as soon as I had enough saved up (because they will not fund any trip where I'd be traveling anywhere alone), I would be booking a flight to London to see some of my friends - most likely without her or my step dad, whether they liked it or not. She didn't like that of course, but I don't really care.

I mean, I know that as Muslims we're supposed to respect and obey our parents no matter what, and always do what is pleasing to them even when I really don't want to because they gave us the gift of life, and raised us, and cared for us blah blah blah...but what about what I desire? What about what is pleasing to me? What about my dreams? Am I supposed to go through life unhappy, just to please them? When and where does it stop?

It seems like all I ever do on my blog is bitch about my parents in some way or another.
Maybe I'm just being a big brat.

Sometimes I convince myself that maybe I shouldn't go to the UK after all.
Maybe all of my friends have changed so much that when I get there I'll wish that I had not gone at all.

Oh, and Happy New Year.

I'd really like to have these.

2008-12-26T21:33:00.000-08:00

Vacay-cay

2008-12-24T11:43:00.000-08:00

A few hours ago I had this weird ass dream.

I don't remember every detail, but it started off with myself and some friends sneaking off to some event that my mother was at. When we got there we peeked in through a window and looked down to find a huge trampoline. Every few seconds another person would jump up and level at the window we were peeking through then gravity would do its thing. After watching for a while, one of the trampoline people decided to the people at the even that their were a group of girls up at a window peeking through. So the event members decided to send someone up and who else would they send up other than my mother. I panicked because I wasn't mt'hajba (wearing my headscarf :p). I had on this purple hoodie so i pulled that over my head, turned my back towards the window (which now also was a door), and sat down on the floor with my friends. We formed a circle. In walks my mother - annoyed. She stopped right behind me. She couldn't see my face so she just though I was just one of the random hooligans sneaking in to their event.
She told us off for a while then left.

And then all of a sudden we were in Jamaica ridding a roller coaster over the sea (??), jet skiing, and just frolicking around the beach. Only this time I wasn't me - I was this girl I know. I mean, I looked like her on the outside.
That part was fun.

Next, my dream skipped to us (myself, and three other friends), and 2 guys that are "family friends" that I don't really know well watching a TV screen. An image of our old houses in Riyadh pops up ( we were neighbours ) and we -me and the 3 other friends- go wild screaming "OMG THATS OUR HOUSE" while pointing at the TV screen..the guys just look at us indefferently. We are a bit annoyed by, lol.

Last part of the dream, we're suddenly in a desert at some old looking train station - the type you see in old western movies, waiting for the train to take us off to our boarding school (which is Hogwarts). We meet this random old bald guy in an elevator (?) and he tell my friend that Mrs. Archibald (Nate's Mother) will ber her math 110 professor, and we all get super excited.
When we get off the elevator we see the train approaching, we get excited and run after it. We get on, sit down, and the train start firing its engine up. We slowly start to leave the station when I remember that I forgot to pack/get ready. So I yell that I have to get off and I start crying. I say goodbye to all my friends and get off. My mom is at the station, and she is all like "I'll take you.", and this just pisses me off more.

Leaving the station, I go through a room, and every guy that I have ever had a crush on seems to be in the room doing something or another. They all see me at some point while I'm in the room, and they all give me a goodbye/farawell hug telling me that they'll miss me, and it's all very dramatic and sad. So I start crying more.

Then we get to the car, get in and drive off.
The end.

It wasn't a nightmare but this dream freaked me out a bit, lol.

me in just two more weeks.

2008-12-04T16:38:00.000-08:00

Where were you on 11-4-08 when Barack Obama was elected president?

2008-11-05T19:50:00.000-08:00

I was in my room, online (of course) checking my email every few minutes for email notifications (watching the results on TV makes me too nervous :/ ). All of a sudden my friend calls me:

"Hello?"
"OBAMA WON."
"WHAT?"
"HE WON."
"OMGG..."
*spazes out*
*mother runs upstairs*
"TAQO!!! He WON!"
"I KNOW..OMG."

*runs back downstairs with mother to watch McCain concession speech*

...and I've been smiling ever since :)
OK, well maybe not ever since...i just stopped a couple of hours ago. My face was starting to hurt..
It still hasn't fully sunk in...

Barack Hussein Obama.
The President of The United States of America.

First non-white leader of any Western country...
I hope this revolution continues.
Maybe next we'll have an Asian president? Or a Latino president? Heck, why not even an Native American president? That would totally own. This wasn't a victory just for black people...it was a victory for ANY person that has ever been a minority

You know I've never really believed it when people would say "Anything is possible".
And as cliche as this sounds...I think that after today I will always see some truth in this statement. If I've learned anything through out this campaign, it is how not to be such a pessimist. If you reeaally want something, and work hard at it, you can achieve it :) I'm so proud of our generation for single handed-ly changing the face of...politics. Not just American politics.

I don't think that him getting elected is going to turn America in to the land of milk and honey..because that is ridiculous. But I do believe that it WILL bring change....hopefully for the better, and I have faith. And I think that Barack Obama knows that millions of people have soooooo much faith in him. He knows that he can't mess this up And I really hope he doesn't.

I could find NO newspapers anywhere today :/
Every Washington Post, and NY Times paper dispenser was EMPTY.
Even the Express and Examiners were no where to be seen, and when I say no where I mean NO WHERE. Lol. Not even any on the floors or seats of the train! (there are usually tons of newspapers everywhere anytime you get on train).
Only paper I was able to find was our university paper.
And I had to go on a friggin' scavenger hunt just to get it!

Anyways, I know I'm babbling, and I don't really have anything to say that someone hasn't already said, but I felt the need to dedicate this post to the history that has just happened.

Oh and I just wanted to add one thing that annoys me - "non-minorities" getting their panties up in a bunch whenever someone mentions that he is "the 1st black president" because "his race shouldn't matter~! it should be about his policies!". Shut the fuck up. Please.
That is such an easy statement for you to make when all of your life you have always been the ethnic majority, and every leader you have ever had-43 to be exact!- has always looked just like you. Of course race wouldn't matter to you! I'm quite sure you'd be singing a different tune if the shoe was on the other foot, and America had just gotten their first white president. DO NOT sit and tell me that you would not be excited of the sheer fact that you and your president look somewhat alike. Oh, and not to mention that this came after decades and decades of straight up oppression in which you were oppressed because of your color....... -_-

LET PEOPLE HAVE THEIR MOMENT. GOSH. IS IT THAT HARD??? :/

That being said, I honestly do NOT believe that most ~people of color voted for him JUST because of his skin color....that was just a plus ;)

I wonder if he'll get a holiday named after him now? Obama day? :p

yummy specimens

2008-10-23T14:49:00.000-07:00

1. Warmly clad in leather-jean style pants, a bomber jacket, with a brown wool scarf around his neck, he stood waiting for the university shuttle bus. His dark mass of messy hair blew in the wind whilst his black wayfarers kept the wind out of his dark eyes. His black, gold, red, and white Nike dunks drummed the ground softly to the beat of the sound in his earphones. I got the vibe that Justice is probably one of the top played bands on his iPod. Justice and maybe Santogold, and M.I.A.

2. A navy blue knit sweater, over a white oxford shirt. Half tucked in, and half out. His messenger bag slung across his chest, and hanging just below his back. Red framed glasses aimed at a small stack of papers in his hand; pencil in his mouth as he read intently. The back pockets of his jeans were worn, and they were bought that way. His buzz cut accentuated his clean cut look. I love buzz cuts.

3. Both left and right sides of his head were shaven down - almost bald. Through the middle was a strip of coarse unshaven hair forming a subtle Mohawk. His loose fitting jeans make a soft sound as the two inner seams rub together while he walks. Such a beautiful face. Such captivating eyes. You seem like the shy guy with so many curious things hidden inside. How I would love to get to know you ;)

UGH. LOVE HIM.

2008-10-22T22:26:00.000-07:00

..and his weird ass video clips.

Forgery

2008-10-17T20:22:00.000-07:00

Scene:
Me, sitting in the food court, enjoying a a steak burrito from Taco Bell.
Had just taken my first couple of bites when suddenly, this random girl walks up from behind me.

Her: Hey!
Me: *looks up*
Her: Oh.... :/ Sorry. I thought you were someone else from far away.
Me: *giggles akwardly*
Her: I'm sorry.
Me: Oh..it's ok...?
Her: Hey, do you have nice hand writing?
Me: Umm..*thinking what the hell*..I dunno..I guess? Not really? I don't know. (LOL, thats exactly what I said)
Her: Like, can you write cursive nicely?
Me: Ummm...
Her: You know, connect letters?
Me: I know what cursive is...
Her: Yeah, so can you do it?
Me: Kinda-ish? It's not all that great though.
Her: It doesn't matter. My hand writing is really bad, and I need you to write something for me. Is that OK?
Me: I guess so *thinking what the hell again".
Her: *eyes my burrito* Oh, wait. Sorry, am I disturbing your lunch?
Me: Noo..thats OK. Its fine :) [ LIES.]
Her: So..just write me a sample. So I can see how your writing looks.

*I take out a piece of paper, and write "To whom it may concern." like she asked*

Her: Oh yes. Thats great. OK. Here's what I need you to write...

and then she proceeds to dictate a sick note to her professor, explaining why she missed her exam on Monday, signed by her grandmother.

After I finished the letter

Her: Do you have facebook?
Me: Yeah..
Her: Oh, ok. I'm gonna add you.
Me: Ok :)

(lol, it kind of annoys me when you meet people and the 1st thing that they wnat to do is add you to their facebook..but whatever, that is a whole 'nother issue..)

Her: Are you doing anything for Halloween?
Me: Probabaly not..but I don't know.
Her: The *insert sorority name I forgot what she called them* are having a party. You should come. Tickets are only 5 bucks.
Me: Oh, that sounds fun. I think I might try to come since I have nothing else planned. [Lies. I know I wont..lol].

We small talked a bit longer, about crabs (the food) and classes.
Then it was time for her to go to her next class. Me too.
So she packed her we said our goodbye, and she went her way.

I sat there for a few minutes afterward, realizing that I had just forged a letter and signature for a complete stranger.

Lol. Random.

2008-10-12T20:57:00.000-07:00

2008-10-11T21:18:00.000-07:00

-i'm tired as hell ALL THE TIME.
-my knees have been feeling funny lately.
-why did I decide to take physics as my lab and non-lab core? why in God's name didn't I do biology instead? why did i have to try to be cute about it, and take the sophisticated sounding physics course?
-i'm feeling lonely as shit. and no. i'm not pms-ing.

a couple of things.

2008-10-02T22:19:00.000-07:00

- "What are you still doing up so late??" *attitude-y tone*
what the hell does it look like I'm doing.
you see me at my desk with a bunch of books open in front of me.
you tell me.
ALSO, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE SOME TYPE OF BEDTIME HERE?
DIDN'T GET THE MEMO.
does everybody else have to go to bed the same time as you? idgi.
it just really bothers me every time you feel the need to make such comments.
it kind of makes me want to get violent.
you think I want to be up this late???
and even if I did, why is that anyone's business??? seriously???
PLEASE STOP.
if you're tired, the go to bed.
leave me the hell alone. thank you.

- IF ONE MORE PERSON SITS NEXT TO ME OR BEHIND ME IN CLASS OR ON THE TRAIN WHILST CHEWING GUM LIKE THEY'RE IN SOME TYPE OF GUM CHEWING MARATHON, SOMETHING VERY BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

IDGI.

WHY IS IT NECESSARY TO CHEW SO LOUDLY?
WHY?

I'm usually trying to do either a)fall asleep or b) pay attention.
I CAN DO NEITHER WITH YOU CHEWING IN MY EAR.
PLEASE STOP.

Honestly, some times I think I am on the verge of turning around and hitting someone across the face with my backpack.

I'm so scared one day that I am going to snap and I will.

Bang Bang Chicken and Shrimp

2008-09-30T19:26:00.000-07:00

My parents went out of town this weekend, and it was the best thing ever.
It was only for a 2 nights, but it was still amazing.
Nobody to bother me or ask me to do anything, just me time.
I could totally get used to it. I t made me want to speed up the whole "moving out on my own" thing so bad. It was just so...exhilarating :( even though I was still in their house, and they left me money for food and what not, I still felt uber independent and all "big girl" like. They need to go out of town more :(

Is it a bad thing when you try and try, but you can not seem to feel happy for someone else?

Yesterday I finally got the guts to go to the coffee conversations sessions that they have at the language house @ uni. Its like this thing that they do once a week where they set up tables for like...10 different languages, and anyone with any interest (be it you just want to keep up your skills, or learn it) in any of the languages can attend. So I went to the Arabic cluster's table...abi ashoof wsh salfat'hum ;) Only like 3 other people came this week. One of them was this Chinese guy that spoke like 7 languages....fucking OVER ACHIEVER. Damn.
He was pretty nice though..
He showed me the Arabic cluster's dorm section in the language house.
He kept telling me that I should apply for it. I don't know if I want to do that since it smelled like fish in there :) I thought it was so cute how they all spoke in....fu97a, lol.
I just replied in English the whole time. I couldn't bring myself to do the whole fu97a thing...awkward. lol.

Today was Eid...I had classes. And work. yay. What fun. The highlight of my day was eating two toaster strudels this morning while waiting for the bus...I savored every bite.
I miss my Eids in Saudi SFM.
Even though I used to complain about them terribly when I was there...but they were hands down better than this nothingness here.
I miss dressing up to go sit around at people's houses, and buying candy to give out to the neighborhood children in the morning after Eid prayer.
I miss the palm trees wrapped in lights, and the streets during the evening of Eid day.
I miss getting 18643876 text messages the moment everyone the moon had been sighted, and everyone knew that there would be no fasting the next day.
I miss the last minute Eid shopping every. single. year! lol.
I miss the festive atmosphere,
I miss the Eid istira7aat ely kina nsaweehum every yeaaaaaar, without fail.
Most of all I miss being able to spend it with my friends :(

It was also Rosh Hashanah today, and there was a noticeable lack of Jews on campus. On a normal day, you'd see yarmulkes bobbing around everywhere...none today though.
I must admit, the whole..seeing Jews all the time around campus is pretty weird for me. And I don't mean that in a mean way...but in a curious way. Its like "Ohh, so you're the people that I've heard so much about..."
When I think no one is looking, I'll stare.

Damn. I'm tired.
Adios.

I should be writing my weekly essay right now.

2008-09-25T19:17:00.000-07:00

- I'm getting really sick of people wearing these t-shirts that say "College" on them. I don't know how many of you have seen them, but, what the hell? Obviously if I see you walking around campus with a backpack, books, and a cup a coffee, I will know that you're a college student. Why is advertising it across your chest necessary? lol. I think it would be more useful if people wore t-shirts that had "douche", "obnoxious", or "know it all" written on them...hey, at least we would be forewarned!

- I was thinking today, it would be so effin' awesome if I had a twin sister. An identical twin.
I know I'm not the only one that has such fantasies. The thought of it gives me the chills...but in a good way. I always imagine discovering my long lost twin one day, and reaching out to..I don't know touch her face, and when my skin touches hers, it would feel like I am touching my own face, lol. I'm sure I've seen that in some movie once upon a time...
Besides the awesomeness of having someone that looks exactly like me, we'd get to share that twin bond that I always read about. You know, knowing exactly what the other is thinking, and having that deep twin connection that you could never have with anybody else.
There are these twin brothers that I see a lot at uni and on the metro. They're ALWAYS together, they walk the same, and at the same pace, dress the same - just in different colors-, and a lot of the times make make the same kind of movements and gestures, it's so eerie, but I love it. I think I might be a bit jealous.

- Hana tagged me to write down 5 of my current addictions.
Lets see....

* My Queen Helene cocoa butter stick. (It smells oh so good. Sometimes I'm tempted to take a bite out of it.)
* Caramel apple lollipops (I've finished a bag of like...30? All by myself. Had a terrible sweet tooth :|)
* Trix (Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids ;) )
* GIFs!
and I have a pretty awesome collection of them too ;)

(note: this SHOULD move, but blogger is stupid. So it doesn't. Sorry.)

* 16th century British fiction

- Over 400 people showed up for the fast-a-thon. Nice number, no?
Not going to go in to to much detail about the event because there isn't really much to say...but here's a nice touch, when asked if they would come back next year, everyone raised their hand. I'd call it a success.

Tabouleh

2008-09-18T15:28:00.000-07:00

Yes!!!
My mom surprised me (not intentionally, she just decided to make some) yesterday.
I woke up from my pre-suhoor nap ( a new ritual I take part in) to break my fast, and I find a bowl of Tabouleh. You might be thinking "so what?" Lol. Well the thing is, I haven't had this all year. Last time I had tabouleh, we were in Riyadh. It's fairly easy to make, its just none one has made any for some reason. We used to make it and buy it ready made from restaurants on Riyadh all the time. Basically, I've been pitying myself for not having any tabouleh all year, yet have been too much of a lazy ass to make myself any :p

The only draw back of last night's tabouleh is that the bulghur that mom bought was whole wheat -_- Because apparently, the grocery store only had that kind. I don't know if I fully believe that or not, since my parents are famous for trying to be healthy. Anyway, it's a drawback because whole wheat bulghur isn't as soft as regular. It's kind of like the difference between whole wheat rice and regular white rice...you should get my drift.

I'm hungry :D
I have about 45mins. left to break time.

I CAN NOT WAIT UNTIL I CAN EAT LUNCH AGAIN.

Its been torture, I swear.
1st day of classes coincided with 2nd day of Ramadan, so I have not been able to eat at any of the eateries at uni.

Chick-fil-a
Salad Works
PANDA EXPRESS
Taco Bell
Subway
Sbarro
McDonalds
Steak Express
Sushi by Panda
Adele's

etc...

I know most of these places don't sound that special, but when you aren't eating, and everyone around you is walking about with milkshakes, and chicken sandwiches, you kind of start to go insane.

Chick-fil-a my love, only 12 more days to go before we can be together ♥

Like, I had to ditch the Transfer Student Orientation last week, even though I had planned to go. I got to the door just as about...7 boxes of large Sbarro pizza were being taken in (smelled like they were fresh out of the oven, too). My stomach dropped, and I just couldn't go in, lol. I hung out nearby, and just watched from a distance as more and more boxes of pizza kept arriving.
GOD, THAT WAS HARD :(

All of the starting of the school year events involved, or will be involving BBQ-ing.
I don't know how many times I've walked through hot dog and hamburger smoke. I've had to fight the urge to just stand there and inhale, lol.

Oh, oh, oh.
Monday the MSA is having this thing called a "fast-a-thon", where they're inviting non-Muslims to try to fast one day with us. Just to get a feel for it, and they also find out why we do it. Then they get to break fast with us. Pretty neat, eh? Seems like quite a few people are going to try it out too.

OK. ENOUGH TALK ABOUT FOOD.
I'M ALMOST IN TEARS, LOL.

HOW COME RAMADAN IS SO DIFFICULT FOR ME THIS YEAR? :(
Last year was nothing like this, I swear.

I've been listening to Miley Cyrus a lot lately

2008-09-13T18:36:00.000-07:00

Don't hate. I like her, and her slutty ways, lol.
I felt the need to declare that to the world.

Moving on.

My 1st two weeks of uni have been pretty hectic, but I must admit that I am enjoying it..I hope I don't jinx anything by saying that out loud.

My 1st day was scary as shit. Not gonna lie about that.
But the days that followed kept getting better.

I'm taking 5 classes this semester, well actually 4, because one is a lab class.
Oh yeah, and my lab partner didn't turn out to be Edward Cullen :( I was pretty crushed.

Basically, I have no real excuse as to why I've been not updating. Lol.
I think I'm still trying to settle in to classes.

I wish I could write more about how classes are and such, but I really have nothing to say, except that they are all pretty interesting and fairly enjoyable. Not much I can add to that? I can add however, that may fav. class so far is my Greek Mythology class.
I'm really in to make believe and fairytale, so its right up my alley.

Last week the MSA (Muslim Student Association) at uni had a If6aar. It was pretty awesome.
Got to meet other Muslim students..everyone was so nice, sweet, and friendly ♥

Also, the 2 hour commute everyday is a bitch. REALLY.

Which is why...*drum roll* I got my learners permit this pass weekend :D
You are allowed to get 3 questions wrong on the test, and I skipped 2 and got one wrong, which is equivalent to me only getting 17 Q's right.

Point is, I just passed :p
Also, the pic of me on it is pretty good, if I do say so myself!

Anyhoodles, I have to go and finish some reading, so ta-ta for now!

I know this is a really half-arsed update, but I promise the next one will be better. (inshallah, lol)

Shout out to Ace who just moved away to uni! Happy Birthday, luv! ;*

today

2008-09-08T22:47:00.000-07:00

when my step-dad picked me up from the train station, he got annoyed and commented on me wearing a belt with a certain top that I had on. something about it showing my shape, lol.

if you only knew that i only really do the whole covering thing in front of you and mom.
if you only knewwww.

i wonder what their reactions would be?
scratch that, i don't.
i try to put that as faaar in the back of my head as possible.
i can't think of their reactions.
DO NOT WANT.
do not want.
do not want.

if you are a bit lost, i decided at the beginning of this semester that i won't be wearing Hijab at uni...for the time being. i thought about the reasons that i was wearing it, and they were all reasons that more or less had to do with other people rather than ME. whats the point of doing anything, especially religious wise, for others? defeats the whole purpose.

i have been wearing Hijab since i was what...12?
reasons were: a) parents told me to b)all of my other peers were doing it.
it was never something that I woke up one day and just decided to do on my own..
i actually hope that does happen one day soon.

i am positive that this is not a permanent decision.
but it will be nice to try out the whole "being like everybody else" for once in my life.

i think my parents will find out sooner or later though.
i don't know if i am prepared for that yet, but i think i am.

goodnight.

Ramadan mubarak and all that jazz...

2008-08-31T20:16:00.000-07:00

Tonight/tommorow morning will mark the 1st day of Ramadan.
It seems like it just snuck up on me. I'm am in no way prepared for fasting..
And it's just going to keep moving up ten days every year.
This will be my 2nd year having to do Ramadan in the states. Not fun, lol.
I wish I could just fly off to some country...any country in the ME for 4 weeks, and then come back and continue with the regularly scheduled program :p

I kind of feel guilty about my unenthusiastic mood, but it's not all my fault, right ?
Whatever..I just hope I don't get too thirsty during the day..I can go without food.

I've given up on trying to finish the Qur'an in Ramadan though :/
I have tried every year since...forever! Never ever get even close to the end :(

Who knows though, maybe I'll have better luck this year.

كل عام و أنتم بخير

..and I hope you all have a blessed month!

2008-08-29T19:38:00.000-07:00

oh, fuck.

Ngl...

2008-08-28T23:12:00.000-07:00

I start classes on Tuesday, and I am officially freaked out.
I went up to the campus yesterday to find the places of all of my soon to be classes. Hardly anybody was there. Then I had to go again today - alone- to pick up my books, and it was ummm...really crowded ;/ Very intimidating..

The commute going both ways is going to take me about 2 hours going and coming, meaning 4 hours all together :( Everyday, since I have classes 5 days a week. Driving would only take me like...30 mins!!!!!!!!! I really need to work on that driver license. Like, really.

I think I'll have to quit my job, lol. Or maybe just work weekends...I dunno..we'll see.

And apparently I am to have a lab partner for my physics course. I wonder what he/she will be like? It has been occupying my mind since I found out...which was only a few hours ago :p

What if I get an Edward Cullen? ;)

(If you don't get the reference, Edward Cullen is the vampire in Twilight that falls in love with Bella Swan. They meet as lab partners in class, where in the beginning, he constantly sits as far away from her as possible, and glares at her from the corner of his eyes, and balls his fists up until his knuckles are white..all because he loves the smell of her blood, and is resisting the impulse to bite her. She, like the ordinary girl she is, thinks that he hates her guts after noticing these mannerisms, and is breaking up inside about it. How cute.)

That is all.

I was feeling creative

2008-08-26T18:24:00.000-07:00

=

♥

So I need my own personal photographer, and welcome to my new place

2008-08-24T23:37:00.000-07:00

I hate being the only one that takes pictures all the time because that means = no good ones of me.
I'm really big on documenting stuff. I mean, my golden rule is: pictures or it didn't happen.
Sure you'll have your memories or whatever, but that can only be experienced by you. Sure you can share your memory, and tell some one about it...but it just won't be the same as actually looking at the memory.

SO IT SUCKS when you are the only one that is documenting anything, and sometimes you'll completely miss out on the memory, because you were too busy behind the camera.
I need my own personal Cobra Snake a la Cory Kennedy. I really do.

It also annoys me when people don't take pictures they way I want them to.
Point is, I think being camera savvy should be a perquisite for anyone that befriends me from now on.

And yeah...this is my new url, since I reached 200 posts at the last one.
I've always wanted to do the whole black background thing, so we'll see how long I can take this one.

Fresh start.

Peace out, and one love.

2008-08-19T21:20:00.000-07:00

GET OFF THAT CAKE!